barely sober

in the last four or so hours I have honestly put back an inhuman amount of liquid, and have just come to the startling conclusion that I may have only just now sobered up completely. I have drank: a carton of sipss ice tea. a 2 liter bottle of coke, and approximately half a gallon of water. I have peed: once. i'm not even bothering using a glass anymore. i'm like a freak-show exhibit.

speaking of exhibits, in my bizzaro-hood, there is a psychic. she sits in her window allll day, and most of the night, and is by far the creepiest woman alive. Usually i find myself intrigued by psychics, to the point where i consider dropping twenties bills for two ticks of time so she can tell me that she sees someone dark and handsome in my future. ho hum.

but this lady, is a creepster. everytime i walk by, she taps on the glass and stares me down. she can smell fear through the plexiglass. its some reverse zoo shit, where she shouldn't tap the glass because it disorients me and makes my skin crawl. i wish she would stop tapping, i really do, because it is creepy. really really creepy. i wish i didn't have to walk by her to get my coffee in the morning. or have to pass by when i make my daily trips to the liquor store to keep the shakes at bay.
i'm in all sorts of withdrawal and shit because this lady decided its funny to fuck with blondie. i need coffee, i need whiskey, and now all i can think about is this woman tappin' on the glass and beckoning me with her devil eyes.
i feel no urge to visit her. the only urge i feel is to run by her instead of walk.
which i commonly do anyway, since she is situated next to the barbershop which is always surrounded by some vocal fellas.

the whole block is dead to me. this psychic is ruining my life. i want to break her "tap" finger off.