be there

haterade

unless your some sort of weird athlete, the necessity to buy Gatorade is a bad thing. One of two reasons do normal folk buy Gatorade...
1. you're not feeling so hot.
2. you're hungover.

in either category, all Gatorade actually succeeds in doing is making your puke funny colors.

my favorite flavor is grape.

grape = electric blue/seafoam green (dependent on what else has been ingested).


stay away from lemon-lime, that shit is just scary.

blood on your aids

Whoever invented the casing to Band-Aids most obviously did not consider the thumb wound in the creative process. 

ever try to open a Band-Aid without the use of your thumb? 

'tis quite hard. 

who doesn't like a good mustache ride?

So there's a sweet new trend that is sweeping fashion and that is removable mustaches. I for one am obcessed. according to one very fancy fashion magazine tells its readers that these products are for people who want the option of having a 'stache if the mood strikes. For those who do not want to grow the hair or buy a necklace (i love the Dali one above- $12 here), there is the always sane and logical option to get a mustache tattooed on the side of your finger. Just imagine it...all you need to do is place your figer above your upper lip and presto! 'stache! 

Well Meg and I decided to test it out last night at the M.E.A.N.Y. Fest at the Mean Fiddler. On the subway ride over we tattoo'd our 'staches on our index fingers, then made some pretty tasteless jokes and began our wild mustache ride. Every person who approached, every conversation was peppered with the perfect use of mustache when the mood struck us. Meg had the perfect situational use of the finger stache when she was asked for a smoke by a dude who we later found out was in one of the bands! Here's how it pretty much went down:

(mostly paraphrased)

Dude: Hey, can I borrow a cigarette?

Mega: That's a weird way to ask...you can have a cigarette...

Dude: would you want it back? What kind of person would ask for a cigarette back?

Mega: (raises mustache finger to her lip, makes a quizzical mustache face...) well you haven't  met anyone like me.

It was pure genius. Amazing. 

I plan on legit tattooing atleast 3 finger 'staches for reflect my moods and favorite styles: thin french mustache a la Dali, think trucker style mustache, and charlie chaplin. 

cherry on top

I don't care how long you've lived in New York City... you have never been cat-called unless you have been cat called by a man pissing on a car 2 feet away from you at 3am on an empty street. If that isn't a sundae with a cherry on top i don't know what is.

alternative modes of transportation

i think investing in any of the following, would vastly improve my life:

Rollerblades. A skateboard. Razor Scooter. Wheelies.

If only because the walk home from the subway in the middle of the night seems painfully long, and anything on wheels seems more appealing then walking.

i discount bikes because so much is involved in their use. like a helmet, spandex, and a bike chain and lock.

rollerblades are iffy because i would also probably require the use of a helmet. and knee and elbow pads. and vast amounts of bubble wrap.
plus they are hard to carry, and it is really hard to appear straight or sane considering all of the above.

wheelies are incredibly hard to use. My 12 year old cousin has them. sadly, he wears the same shoe size as me, so i tried them on last summer, and swiftly ended up on my ass within 5 seconds.

i hear razor scooters have been known to impale people. i would certainly be in the most at risk category. i am willing to take this risk. especially since they are light and nifty, and i could carry it on the subway when its all foldy and cute.

a skateboard, whilst probably the most hazardous after wheelies, would probably give me the most street cred. if investing in a skateboard, once again, a helmet and padding would be recommended, but then i would lose street cred. so fuck that shit.

all in all, before i could invest in anything that requires balance or coordination, i would probably need to attain some semblance of either. both probably. as if walking without tripping isn't hard enough.

for awhile i considered just running home from the subway. but apparently, a white girl running in bushwick down a dark street at 3am worries the cops. if i were a copper, a white girl running in bushwick at 3am while screaming would worry me. otherwise, i'd just figure her impatient. or a mute.

I can see Russia from my house...

It's that time of the year again. elections. I'm not one of those super radical people and neither is our blog, I think. But the video above is pretty funny and has a good message. Vote.
(Jonah Hill is pretty much the best part, I wish he was my friend.)

Now in 04, I didn't vote. I like to blame the vote or die thing-- I wanted to see what would happen if I didn't do what Diddy said. I am, in fact, living. For now...

So go vote! And don't forget to tivo the VP debate. It should be HILARIOUS! I want to play a Sarah Palin drinking game...I'll get back to this one later when I think of some realistic rules. (Every time she references being a "hockey mom" take a shot of Canadian Club) And what's the official booze of Alaska?