alternative modes of transportation

i think investing in any of the following, would vastly improve my life:

Rollerblades. A skateboard. Razor Scooter. Wheelies.

If only because the walk home from the subway in the middle of the night seems painfully long, and anything on wheels seems more appealing then walking.

i discount bikes because so much is involved in their use. like a helmet, spandex, and a bike chain and lock.

rollerblades are iffy because i would also probably require the use of a helmet. and knee and elbow pads. and vast amounts of bubble wrap.
plus they are hard to carry, and it is really hard to appear straight or sane considering all of the above.

wheelies are incredibly hard to use. My 12 year old cousin has them. sadly, he wears the same shoe size as me, so i tried them on last summer, and swiftly ended up on my ass within 5 seconds.

i hear razor scooters have been known to impale people. i would certainly be in the most at risk category. i am willing to take this risk. especially since they are light and nifty, and i could carry it on the subway when its all foldy and cute.

a skateboard, whilst probably the most hazardous after wheelies, would probably give me the most street cred. if investing in a skateboard, once again, a helmet and padding would be recommended, but then i would lose street cred. so fuck that shit.

all in all, before i could invest in anything that requires balance or coordination, i would probably need to attain some semblance of either. both probably. as if walking without tripping isn't hard enough.

for awhile i considered just running home from the subway. but apparently, a white girl running in bushwick down a dark street at 3am worries the cops. if i were a copper, a white girl running in bushwick at 3am while screaming would worry me. otherwise, i'd just figure her impatient. or a mute.