Cuz i know when I feel "the man", or men, are holdin' me down, I like to strip to my skivvies infront of them and wrestle other chicks in a kiddie pool full of jello!
girl power!
here are some other ways to ignite the feminist within' us and empower ourselves.
1. find a super hardcore pimp and start walkin' the streets.
pimps are fun, funky, and fresh! and hey, its not demeaning because its your choice!
2. attend finishing school.
because knowing not to speak until spoken to, how to snag a hubby, and how to keep a proper home are all important skills for girls of any generation to have.
3. find a good man who is smart enough to hit you when you deserve it.
he'll never have to tell you anything twice again, and you'll be so much more attentive to everyones needs!
4. Stop eating.
only start again (slowly!) when your knees are fatter than your thighs. you'll be lookin' fiiiinnnee. You'll get a bf to worship yo hot ass in no time!
5. Get religious.
Not only will accepting Jesus in your heart make you stronger, but taking religious texts verbatim will do you a world of good in finding the goddess within. But dont forget... "34. Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but [they are commanded] to be under obedience, as also saith the law. 35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." (Corinthians 14:34 - 35*)
6. trade in all your dollars for 76 cents!
what do you need with all those dollars anyway? they're covered with men! at least with coins you can maybe get some Sacagawea action.
don't get me wrong, theres nothing wrong with Jello wrestling... I sure as hell enjoyed it. But don't tell me its some feminist empowering event.
though, today, i'm more inclined to punch the misguided NYU gender studies drop-out who started this crap square in the teeth. Probably has something to do with the fact that A. I think she fell from retarded tree and hit every mongoloid branch on the way down and B. I haven't had a cigarette in many, many hours and this nicotine patch is making me twitchy.
No comments:
Post a Comment