you might be a douchebag if...

You stand on the left side of the escalator.

Everyone, sans those raised by wolves, has either driven, taken driving lessons or watched a teenage comedy where highway driving hijinks were featured and oh so funny at that. And what did we learn? The left lane, is the fast lane. Just because the escalator only goes in one direction, it does not negate the “keep to the right” courtesy rule of stairs nor does it mean you can take the flank to talk about last night’s “sick” activities with your “broseph”. Maybe, just maybe, someone is in a rush and doesn’t want to wait for the geriatric crawl of moveable stairway to reach its destination on its own. Or maybe, just maybe, you and your “broseph” fucking smell because bathing after last night’s “sick” activities slipped your mind and someone would like to power past you as fast as possible to gulp some fresh unassaulted air. In any case, the left side, is where we walk. The right side is where we talk.