lessons learned

this weekend has learned me, that the human body (or my human body) is incapable of running exclusively on whiskey and redbull. The combination of no sleep, no food, and vast intake of alcoholic beverages has left me with the sore throat from hell. The sore throat that no amount of ibuprofen, benedryl, hot tea, orange juice, soup, sleep, dayquil/nyquil, or Battlestar Gallatica can kill. Once the throat is sore its all down hill from there. Lesson learned. I blame my strange work hours for most of it, but who do i kid? Jager bombs are no substitute for sleep/food. Lesson learned for realz.

lessons not learned? oh there are a many. including but not limited to...

1. telling customers at the bar my name. a mongo move but do i stop? no. not only do they evolve the mere knowing of my name into a false sense of farmilarity (which is creepy) but they really fucking annoy me when they use it before every sentence. lesson learned? no.

2. don't go on blind dates. awkward people should be banned from doing such awful things to themselves -like, hanging out with a complete stranger. i especially. my coping mechanism for the awks tends to be alcohol consumption, so then, blind dates usually end with a still, complete stranger trying to fit the entire lower quadrant of my face into his big slug-tongued mouth. lesson learned? no. although, i will learn to be meaner.

3. don't shit where you eat. literally. ever seen that scene in Mean Girls where she eats her lunch in the bathroom? disgusting.
kidding.
i do believe this phrase applies to places other than the work place. i can think of some other ones too "don't twiddle your stick in the company fun dip", "Keep your hoes in different zip codes" or very simply "don't fuck your friends". its really not a good idea, we all know its not, especially when i'm involved in the situation, but lesson learned? hell no. its kinda my thing.

4. don't wear stilletos on nights where heavy drinking is planned. 'nuff said. got the scarres to prove it.